Yugi's Secrets: Entry 1 Falling for Jounouchi
by Ravenous Silentside
Summary: Love knows no boundaries. As Yugi's retelling of how first love is always the most painful one to let go....and the best one to remember.


**Yugi's Secrets**  
  
**[ Entry 1| _Falling for Jounouchi _]  
**  
  
by Ravenous  
  
_Written in Yugi's P.O.V, This is again another one shot, and my first non-yami yugi x yugi fic. It's a Jounouchi   
(Joey) x Yugi fic. I might delve more on Yugi's experiences and 'forbidden' relationships into compressed one shots   
called "The secret life of Yugi Mutoh". Falling Jounouchi is the first but hopefully not the last installment X_X   
TELL me if you want to :|  
  
So enjoy the lengthy one shot, although sorry...NO lemons ;_; _

  
  
--- + ---  
  
28 September:  
  
**FIRST LOVE  
**  
When I sit down to write this journal, I was in the middle of a beautiful relationship. I was starry-eyed, the whole   
world seemed marvelous and I was insanely happy.  
  
  
It was going to be easy. All I had to do was write about how amazing the experience was, here in my journal and   
ONLY I could read about it. The private entry of Yugi Mutoh. What it was like for a straight average teenage boy to   
suddenly fall for another teenage boy? The only difficult part I perceived then was trying to stop myself being   
sickeningly mushy, to stop myself from gushing.  
  
But I had reasons to gush. The person I fell in love with was vibrant, handsome, funny, bold, caring and thoughtful.   
He was magic. He was special. And he was the best kind of special---the kind who didn't realize how special he was.   
For he was Jounouchi, one of my closest friends.  
  
He was so special that he made me want to change my norms. He led me into a completely different world as so I   
was to him. Like any normal teenage boy, I've always been attracted to girls (next to card dueling :P ) . I had my   
crushes and swooning more than my share, and I never thought I'd end up with a boy like me. Sure, I'm studying in a   
co-ed school, where same sex relationship is the LEAST thing that could happen, and I never bothered to give it a   
shot. My world then revolves about the dueling and the tournament. I was with my friends, and that they're fighting   
along with me and that what matters then. I didn't realize that my friendship with Jounouchi was about to make   
drastic changes. I had no clue that he was about to make me fall for him in ways I have never fallen before.  
  
And when I realized I loved him , really, really loved him, there was no drama---no angst or whatever. I waited for   
the moment when I was sure, when I couldn't hold it anymore, and then told him.  
  
We were madly happy  
  
When people heard the news, they had different reactions.  
  
"I knew you had it in you!" one friend said, looking at me with pride, like I had just won another duel.  
  
"I guessed that this would happen!" another said, leaving me wondering why they didn't warn me if they knew it was   
coming.  
  
Some people wanted to understand. They asked me why, and I answered plainly. Love comes in many forms. And in   
this case, love came in the form of my best friend. It was as simple as that.  
  
--- + ---  
  
18 October  
  
**BIG STEP  
**  
"What was it like? Was the adjustment hard?" I was asked too many times.   
  
It wasn't hard. Because I didn't think of it as turning gay. If I thought of the experience as making a big step into   
another sector of society, as crossing lines or changing sexual preferences, it would have been daunting and I   
would have been scared as hell. But I was just falling in love. Falling in love with a single amazing person, not with a   
whole new gender. Sure , it got nerve-wracking at times and my steps weren't always sure, but isn't that how things   
usually are when you decide to plunge yourself into romance? Isn't love always a roller-coaster ride---whether gay   
or straight?  
  
I faced the surprise of my other friends and fielded countless questions, but I took everything in stride. Somehow   
knowing that he was there made me so much stronger. I felt like I could do anything.  
  
Of course, I wouldn't deny that there were differences between a relationship with a boy and his girl. I found out it   
was so liberating that we talked about anything---that we discussed emotions freely. I've seen relationships   
between opposite sexes, and most of the time men have to guess what girls are trying to convey. And apparently   
Jounouchi being my best friend, had no qualms about expressing what he felt. He told me when I was wrong, and yes   
I found that refreshing.  
  
It was so funny, when the times we spent by just 'being normal buddies'. He was adorable when he was cranky, I got   
a different high when we practice our card games and trade things together. He was thoughtful and he spoiled me   
to death. No one had ever done that to me before. Jounouchi is sensitive, sincere and he listened.  
  
But like they say, nothing good lasts forever  
  
--- + ---  
  
5 December  
  
**HURTING LIKE HELL  
**  
"That was my first time to fall in love with a guy. It's been beautiful, it's been crazy, its been adventurous and   
magical. And if the universe is on my side, this will be the last time I will fall in love with anyone."  
  
That was the ending of my original entry today. I wish I can still end this that way.  
  
But I can't  
  
"I'm a teenage boy and my best friend is also my lover." Actually saying that out loud still takes some getting used   
to. The words roll off my tongue like an alien language, sending delicious shivers running down my spine.  
  
But I no longer have a lover or a friend.  
  
He left me.  
  
  
I cannot blame him. I had jealous moments and episodes of paranoia. Sometimes, I let my dark side take over--and   
believe me, its not a good sight. A jealous lover and best friend is already something for Jounouchi to deal with, but   
dealing with a boy who has two souls, of light and darkness WHO is also a jealous lover and friend became too much   
for him to handle. He said he cannot be with someone who doesn't trust him.  
  
But I DO trust him. I trust him with my life. I just had a sucky way of showing it.  
  
Somewhere deep inside me, there's a little part that might even be proud of him, that in leaving me he's sticking to   
his principles. Maybe, when the intense pain goes away, I can start listening to that little part. Maybe I can even be   
happy for him, happy that he was able to stand up for himself.  
  
Not yet. Because I still love him. I love him in ways I've never loved someone before. But if leaving him alone and   
giving him peace is what it would take to make him happy, I would do it for him. Even if it hurts like hell.  
  
I never begged for anyone to stay before, but I tried that with him. He still decided to walk away.  
  
We had built dreams and made plans. Little plans, big plans. We were going to buy Nachos together. We were going   
to travel the world. We were dreaming about a beautiful house near where his sister lives so he can visit her   
anytime. We dreamt about going back to our hometown after the tournament. I want to massage his back and sing   
to him every night before he went to bed. He wanted to keep planning surprises for me.  
  
For the first time in my life, I saw my future clearly. I had a goal to work for, I had a blueprint for the rest of my   
days.  
  
It's hard to believe that it's over now.  
  
The first person I fell in love with was also the first person who broke up with me, the first person who really broke   
my heart.  
  
I am an idiot. I let my best friend slip through my fingers, let him turn back, let him slam the proverbial door.  
  
Now all I'm left with is a broken heart, a folder bursting with playing cards and taken pictures---and a box full of   
memories of countless firsts with this wonderful person.  
  
  
  
++++++THE END++++++  
  
muraki muse: that's it O.o?  
me: yeah that's it   
muraki muse: But the umm..  
me: ¬ ¬ NEXT time. *reloads plot bunnies*


End file.
